Staying married: Good reasons to love and to hold!

In a world where staying married is quickly becoming less and less fashionable, many couples are often asking themselves whether there are any good reasons for them to stay married despite the numerous challenges that modern marriages face. With the rising cases of divorce, it is quite clear that couples have not found reasons to stay married or that the reasons they have found are simply not good enough for them. If you happen to be in a situation where you are wondering whether there is any reason good enough to stay married, here are a few of the many great reasons for you to get and stay married throughout your adult life.

1. Marriage is good for your physical and mental health

As social animals, human beings thrive through socialization. Family happens to be the foundation upon which all our socialization is built upon and is therefore a critical element to our emotional, physical and psychological growth and health. Through personal experience and observation most people will attest to the fact that even the most basic functions such as eating are more enjoyable and better when done in the company of others who we relate to. Going with this most basic example, we can already see marriage having an impact on physical health since married people will share their meals with their spouses and children on a regular basis.

Satisfying our need for socialization by staying married also protects us from mental and psychological problems that often stem from loneliness. Stress, depression, alcoholism, drug abuse and many other similar problems affect single people more than they affect those who are married. Being in a healthy and loving relationship delivers the best form of socialization which in turn insulates the couple from physical and mental health issues. The encouragement, motivation, support, balance, hope and joy that result from marriage will ensure that you enjoy better physical and mental health as compared to single people.

2. Marriage improves your social station

Everywhere in the world, marriage is a social affair. It may vary in the scope to which society gets involved in it depending on your geographical location but it remains to be a social affair that comes with many social benefits that improve your station in whichever society you live in. Married people tend to have an easier time socializing with those around them which is an excellent avenue for opportunities to make money, position yourself for elective office, mobilize others for a cause, do religious work and anything else that requires social engagement. Your status as a married person will often award you a little trust and respect which you can use build on so as to further your personal, social, political, religious and business agendas.

3. Marriage is good for your finances

While money is one of the top three reasons for divorce, it is also one of the top three benefits on getting and staying married. The financial position of most people significantly improves after marriage. In many cases, this is not due to the fact that marriage thrusts them into higher income earning but rather as a result of being more financial prudent once they are married. Marriage also brings with it the advantage of having increased financial and mental resources that will go a long way in improving your opportunities for better incomes. Couples who choose consolidate their wealth building efforts have been seen to achieve solid financial security much faster than those who opt to pursue wealth creation as individuals. Married people also have an easier time accessing credit and acquiring business partners and financiers which contributes to their accelerated financial development.

There are more reasons to stay married than there are for you to get married!

4. Marriage stabilizes communities and contributes to higher standards of living

Communities that have lower divorce rates also enjoy lower crime rates. There is a direct correlation between the levels of divorce and crime as well as child delinquency levels in any given community. Different studies have shown that the percentage increase or decrease in family break down within a give community is almost proportional to the increase or decrease in crime rate within the same community or area. Communities that have lower divorce rates and where family strife is at lower levels tend to enjoy significantly lower crime levels. For adults and children who are in homes that enjoy happy marriages, the reduced crime rate is attributed to the security and wellbeing that emanates from having a stable home and healthy relationships.

Communities that have lower crime rates will in turn automatically attract more external investors while also providing many great opportunities for those within them to grow in whichever way they desire. Such a community will have more people pursuing education to much higher levels, realize greater economic success along with growth in many other areas which all contribute to higher standards of living.

5. Marriage develops your skills and ability in many different areas

Once you get married, there are a million and one hats you shall be expected to wear. You immediately become a spouse and much more while other roles such as parenting come upon you over time. The transition from a single person whose only concern was their own to the spouse/parent/adviser/confidant/coach/teacher/priest/handyman/medic/manyother things you will become requires a lot of learning and adjustment. This learning and adjustments you have to go through actually end up having a bearing on many other important areas of your life. Married people have no choice but to ensure that they practice greater financial discipline, better communication, exercise patience, hone their leadership, open their minds to learning new things and much more. All of these undertakings will not only have a positive bearing on their family life, they also directly impact on the career, academics, business and social interests of the couple.

These are just a few of the many great reasons for people to stay married. If you have been wondering whether marriage is worth your while, we hope that the good reasons shared here are good enough to get you back on track so that we can all keep up the good fight for this wonderful institution called marriage!

The honeymoon period: Why is it so sour for most newlyweds?

As most couples prepare for their weddings, the one constant and positive expectation that goes through their minds is the wonderful and amazing times awaiting them during their honeymoon period. This expectation is built up just before the ceremony and immediately after by friends, relatives and anyone else you bother to listen to. These “marriage experts” will constantly tell you to make sure you fully enjoy the honeymoon period as there are tougher and harder times ahead when there will be little or no room for the joys you could experience during the honeymoon phase of your marriage. While this honeymoon period is not well defined most consider it to be the duration after marriage up until the first baby arrives or the first two years for those who take longer than that to get their first child.

Unfortunately, most couples will freely tell you that their honeymoon period was anything but joyous. The huge expectations they had of enjoying each other without limit or restrictions are very often shattered as early as the first night of their married life! What comes as a surprise to most couples during the first few months and sometimes years of marriage is the huge differences in their preferences, beliefs and norms. Before marriage, these differences are seen as minor issues that you will sometimes joke and tease about without having to deal with them. However, once you are married, they become serious problems that can easily damage a good relationship.

During courtship, the difference between a couple’s bedtimes is not really an issue. If one prefers to tuck in early while the other is a night owl, they will not really see this as a compatibility issue up until they start living together. On the surface, this is not really a big deal and should not threaten a good marriage that is founded on a solid friendship. However, taking a deeper look at this issue reveals that is goes on to affect a couple’s connection on many different levels. The partner who prefers an earlier bedtime will very likely also prefer to have their meals earlier, they will want to finish their daily chores earlier and in most cases they will want to get intimate earlier in the evening.

The other partner who happens to be a night owl will prefer the opposite in almost all the scenarios listed above. They will prefer doing things later into the night and find it more convenient and enjoyable to end their day as late as possible. After a while where they have been accommodating their partner who prefers and earlier bedtime, they will begin to feel cheated, especially if their partner makes little or no effort to sometimes stay up late with them. Once resentment starts creeping in, the marriage is already in trouble yet this is only one area of the many possible differences in personality, faith and norms that can seriously rock the honeymoon boat.

For those who are already married, it is our responsibility to be honest with the young couples getting ready to tie the knot. Instead of building up false hope and expectations, the truth is a better and more reasonable option. While there is great joy in being newlyweds, there are also many significant adjustments that need to be made. Let us help the young couples prepare for change, compromise and conflict resolution so that they can have a better honeymoon. As for the rest of us who survived a sour honeymoon, let us share the lessons we learnt then, while also encouraging the newlyweds to hold on to each other as there are amazing times to be enjoyed once they are through the turmoil of their marriage’s honeymoon phase!

 

A few good marriage blogs

Being relatively new on the net we thought to share a few good marriage blogs that we know to have useful content. Check them out and feel free to share other blogs that you know to have useful information on the subject of marriage and relationships.

Please note that the blogs are not arranged in any specific order. We just put them up randomly.

1. http://simplemarriage.net/blog/ This blog shares ideas on how you can choose to make your marriage a better and more fulfilling one.

2. http://assumelove.com/ Here, you will find all kinds of information on marriage and relationships. An all round look at everything marriage.

3. http://www.happywivesclub.com/ An excellent resource that shares experiences and ideas of women who have chosen to be happy in marriage despite all the ups and downs!

4. http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/my-blog/ Is one place where marriage issues are not sugar coated. Said as it is, this blog takes a brutally honest look at marriage, its challenges and triumphs.

We hope that our blog will soon gain the popularity, following and huge information resources available on these blogs and websites.

We hope that you too shall share other quality marriage blogs that you trust to give us great information on the subject of relationships.

Enjoy!

Finding your own way in marriage

 

 

For most people in marriage today, the easiest and most effective way of dealing with issues is engaging professionals or asking family and friends to help with ideas and find solutions. While the advice of these people can often be very helpful, it must not be blindly applied to your lives and relationship without you taking the time to adjust and modify it so that it fits the very unique circumstances of your marriage.

 

An effective idea or solution in one relationship will not automatically work in the next one due to the significant differences in personality between you as a couple and individually as well as due to the differences in the dynamics of your marriage. The problem in question may be exactly the same but the solutions that work for each couple will be as different as everything else in their lives. In addition to personality, the dynamics of time, money, environment, culture etc will play a critical role in solving issues that arise.

 

Finding your own way in marriage does not mean disregarding the input of others when dealing with your issues, it involves taking advice and opinions from others and modifying them to suit you, your partner and your circumstances. It is also important to note that finding your way is not only applied when trying to solve problems. You and your spouse need to find your own way in many other areas of life. You need to find your own way of raising your children, acquiring and growing wealth, enjoying sex, relating with others in society and much more.

There is no doubt that there will be times where you will find a ready and totally suitable solution from others. This should however be the exception to the rule and a rare occurrence that comes as a pleasant surprise. It may appear to be easier and less of a headache to simply do things as your father, sister, pastor or friend does. However, you need to always remember that you and your spouse are very different individuals from the couple you may choose to imitate. Your circumstances and preferences are also different and as such, the path you choose to follow may become exceedingly difficult for your marriage simply because you are on a journey that is not yours.

Religious teachings, counseling, advice, shared experiences and all other information made available to you are simply meant to help you chart a better course for your marriage. Your job as a couple is to choose what is applicable in your marriage so that you can then apply it in the manner most suitable to your relationship. Knowing that you and your partner are walking a path that you have chosen for yourselves brings great satisfaction while also presenting many opportunities for bonding and getting to know each other better. Clearly, there are numerous benefits to be enjoyed when you choose to chart out a unique course for your family as you pursue the best possible family life experience.

A place to start: Investing a greater effort in marriage!

How many positive adjectives can you honestly use to describe your marriage? Is it fun? Is it happy? Is it fulfilling? Or a combination of two or more wonderful things such as satisfying and growing. Unfortunately for a large majority who are currently in marriage, there are very few positive things to say about our relationships. With so many marriages being in danger, we need to take a stand and fight for the most important human social institution.

The first step we can do to make marriage better for us and our spouses is to make a greater Effort! There is no doubt that we all try, some more than others but as long as you are married you have to be making some kind of effort. In some cases the effort made is commendable while there are many situations where the effort is simply not enough. Making a greater effort should start with you dealing with the most frequent changeable issue you have heard your spouse bring up in the recent past. In a lot of cases, these issues are simply a matter of adjusting your lifestyle. By doing just a little to accommodate their concerns, you will have done a lot for your marriage.

A better marriage will automatically spell success to you and your spouse in every other area of life. A fulfilling relationship boosts confidence in an individual. It also allows you to focus on your business, career or schooling which leads to even more happiness once you achieve in these personal pursuits. Each of us knows the damage that a bad marriage can wreck on career, business and school. By investing a little more time, energy and thought into your marriage, you reap huge benefits individually and as a family.

A huge challenge in executing the greater effort agenda is having a partner who does not reciprocate. This is however a challenge that can be effectively dealt with through proper communication. Talking your partner into improving what they do can be difficult especially when you are dealing with a “no brainer” that they should already know or be good at! It is hard to resist the temptation of telling them off while bragging about the goodies you have managed to deliver through your greater efforts! Unfortunately, this will not propel most people in the direction which you had hoped to guide them towards. Poor communication will actually reduce the interest of your spouse in making any effort at all.

Start by putting a little more effort in the time, energy and thought you invest into your marriage and you will no doubt reap huge dividends that are individual as well as corporate.

 

We invite you to share your opinions and ideas on the subject discussed on this and all other blogs!

Thank you.

Hello good people

Hello and welcome to our blog that seeks to help married couples enjoy marriage as it was meant to be enjoyed since the day God sent Eve to Adam while in the garden of Eden.

First off I must begin by saying that this is not a blog where you will get expert advice on marriage as I highly doubt that any single person can lay claim to being an expert on the subject. However, we hope that every reader and contributor to this blog shall share their experience with the rest of us so as to help us all enjoy marriages that are happier, healthier and totally fulfilling!

We hope to post a blog or two each week, where we shall bring up some interesting conversation that we hope shall entertain, inform and stimulate us all to the betterment of our marriages!

Karibu!

Taiti