For most people in marriage today, the easiest and most effective way of dealing with issues is engaging professionals or asking family and friends to help with ideas and find solutions. While the advice of these people can often be very helpful, it must not be blindly applied to your lives and relationship without you taking the time to adjust and modify it so that it fits the very unique circumstances of your marriage.
An effective idea or solution in one relationship will not automatically work in the next one due to the significant differences in personality between you as a couple and individually as well as due to the differences in the dynamics of your marriage. The problem in question may be exactly the same but the solutions that work for each couple will be as different as everything else in their lives. In addition to personality, the dynamics of time, money, environment, culture etc will play a critical role in solving issues that arise.
Finding your own way in marriage does not mean disregarding the input of others when dealing with your issues, it involves taking advice and opinions from others and modifying them to suit you, your partner and your circumstances. It is also important to note that finding your way is not only applied when trying to solve problems. You and your spouse need to find your own way in many other areas of life. You need to find your own way of raising your children, acquiring and growing wealth, enjoying sex, relating with others in society and much more.
There is no doubt that there will be times where you will find a ready and totally suitable solution from others. This should however be the exception to the rule and a rare occurrence that comes as a pleasant surprise. It may appear to be easier and less of a headache to simply do things as your father, sister, pastor or friend does. However, you need to always remember that you and your spouse are very different individuals from the couple you may choose to imitate. Your circumstances and preferences are also different and as such, the path you choose to follow may become exceedingly difficult for your marriage simply because you are on a journey that is not yours.
Religious teachings, counseling, advice, shared experiences and all other information made available to you are simply meant to help you chart a better course for your marriage. Your job as a couple is to choose what is applicable in your marriage so that you can then apply it in the manner most suitable to your relationship. Knowing that you and your partner are walking a path that you have chosen for yourselves brings great satisfaction while also presenting many opportunities for bonding and getting to know each other better. Clearly, there are numerous benefits to be enjoyed when you choose to chart out a unique course for your family as you pursue the best possible family life experience.
Tighter with Taiti 